How do you continue to shine bright in a world with so much darkness?
The challenges are abundant. Pandemic, resignations and competition for talent, social injustice, economic pressure, low employee engagement, human rights, war, burnout epidemic…
It’s overwhelming. Collectively we are exhausted.
And yet humans continue to pick themselves up, dust themselves off and muster the stamina to move forward.
So what’s the secret? How is it that some people are able to face ambiguity, uncertainty and disaster with a can-do attitude and others are shutting down and withdrawing? Is resilience a genetic trait you inherit?
Resilience is a learned skill
The answer is no. We are not born with resilience and the ability to keep ourselves moving when things get difficult. This is a learned skill. A mindset.
I’ve been told one of my best traits is perseverance. However, it’s also been my downfall. There have been multiple times in my life when my “won’t quit” attitude became the problem. You see, I am an eternal optimist and I believe that there is always something positive ahead. Obstacles are merely speed bumps. This propels me forward through difficult times.
However, from 2020-2023 the challenges and obstacles were so abundant that I never had the opportunity to catch my breath. Positivity and perseverance were not enough. I need a third “P”: pause.
Rest is required
Sometimes we all need to pause and rest. Think about high performing athletes in hockey, basketball or soccer. Does the top athlete play the whole game? No, of course not. There are a minimum of 3 lines and the coach only plays each athlete for up to a minute at a time. Most of the time, when an athlete sits on the bench it's not a punishment. It’s to catch their breath, recover, and prepare for the next burst of physical energy.
Knowledge workers need strategic timeouts
We need to begin shifting our mindset as professionals and knowledge workers to appreciate that people cannot shine bright all the time. Give your people strategic timeouts on the bench. Teach them that resilience is not a trait you either have or don’t have, it's something everyone can learn with mindset and practice.
Become a more curious and caring leader
Additionally, we need to treat our people as humans. The darkness around us day in and day out is toxic to the human spirit. Over time our resiliency, optimism and attitude is negatively impacted. When you notice a shift in someone on your team get curious and caring:
What’s recently changed for you?
How are you affected by world events?
Do you need a rest?
What can I do to support you?
These are questions an inclusive and empathetic leader could ask to show they care. Be curious and caring with the humans on your team.
I’ve found that giving people the space to share how they are feeling builds trust. The opposite is also true — if you see someone suffering and you ignore the signs of distress, you will lose trust as a people leader. Fast.
Sarah Doyle is a Certified Leadership Coach, communications consultant, group facilitator and speaker. She helps people leaders leverage their team's natural strengths and motivations, overcome group dysfunction, and kick their performance into high gear.
📸 Rhiannon Sarah Photography
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